Fields of Gold
by sylvaniae
Summary: Miaka and Yui have returned from the book and have been admitted to Jonan High School. Miaka's making the best grades of her life, even better than Yui's, but something's missing, something totally irreplaceable...Tamahome.
1. It's a Surprise

Fields of Gold  
Chapter One: It's a Surprise  
By: Minako-hime  
  
Author's Note: I'm guessing that you have noticed the series I'm writing about. This series is fairly new to me, but I have learned just about as much as I possibly can without spending every cent I have. I've bought six of the manga, numbers one through six, and I am very into it. I have now finally discovered the magic of Fushigi Yuugi, and I absolutely love it! I am going to try to stay as close to the series as I possibly can, but I know that there will be discrepancies, since I'm only very familiar with the beginning of the series. I've read manga translations and all kinds of stuff on the Internet, and I've found out a good amount from my friend, but there's so much I don't know about the time period in which Miaka and Tamahome are separated after Miaka's wishes. So, if there are discrepancies, I would like to know for future reference because, like you, I want to know EVERYTHING about FY, but I'm not going to change what happens because a lot of these will be essential to the story line. It is a fanfic, after all, so I'm obviously going to change what happens in the story some. With that, my story begins! Enjoy!  
  
Disclaimer: Oh, and who can forget these stupid things? Why do we have to write these? Okay, if anyone is interested in suing me for writing this, I encourage you to look at this little bit right here. I don't own Fushigi Yuugi! If I did, I wouldn't be spending $90.00 on manga just for this series. This is all for the personal enjoyment of myself and others. It is the flow of creativity in us all that must come out. Okay, enough with the corny stuff and on with the story! Oh, and the title is not mine! Hehe! This is a songfic based on the song "Fields of Gold." But this chapter will not introduce the song lyrics. Those will come along when we get that far in the plot. But, like the title of this chapter, it's a surprise!  
  
Everyone says I was lucky, blessed even. I got to experience a universe that only four people in this entire world got to see. I was the Suzaku no Miko, and I had the loyalty of seven seishi that were so special to me that I would give my own life to save theirs many times over. I had the adventure of a lifetime, no, a million lifetimes, and I know that many girls out there must envy me. But I wasn't content. I was far from it.  
Yes, very far from it. I had met the love of my life, a Suzaku seishi name Tamahome. We had met when I was only fifteen, not even in high school. In the heat of exam studies, he was my respite, my consolation. No matter how terrible things in the book became, he was always there, always supporting me, never letting me go. I knew how good I had it, and I never took it for granted. How could I, when every opportunity possible threatened to separate us? What surprised me, though, was that after everything we went through, all the times we beat the odds, that we couldn't make it through the summoning ceremony hand in hand. We had been together so long! How could a senseless rule that our worlds couldn't be joined be our end?  
For so long, it was all I could do to keep from bursting into tears at any random place. I tried to pretend that everything was okay, but every time I saw Yui's face fall, all my efforts went down the drain. I'd break down and have to go home with Keisuke, who would miss multiple classes at his college just to stay with me and make sure I was all right. His attempts to make me feel better would only make me feel worse, since his constant sacrifices always reminded me of Tamahome's kindness and love. I was in a downward spiral, and it got so bad that I had to go to the hospital because I wouldn't eat or take care of myself. Everyone, especially Yui, was worried about me, and I received countless piles of get- well cards from my friends. I never knew that I had so many people that loved me here. So I knew that I had to get better. I had to pick up my feet and live again, without him...  
I loved him, yes, but Tamahome wouldn't have wanted me to live like this. If he knew, that "oni" symbol on his forehead would start glowing like nothing else, and he would have gotten that hurt look in his eyes that I can't stand before he'd yell at me for being such an idiot. At least I know that if I don't have anything else, I do have his memory. And I have his ring, his promise...that he'll come back to me. I will always hold onto that, forever.  
Six months later, I was studying hard during my first year at Jonan High School. I still can't believe that I passed the test, let alone made a better score than Yui. It's so boring without her, even though I'm making the highest grades I ever have in my life. I tapped my pencil on my paper covered with a compilation of notes about world history and absentminded doodles of Tamahome and the rest of the seishi.  
"Does anyone know what year is called the Year of Shocks and why?" asked Mr. Saito, the world history teacher. There were no hands shooting up to volunteer, so the teacher continued on. "Well, since it appears none of you knows about the subject, I will tell you. The Year of Shocks marked—"  
"—the development of the atomic bomb by Germany four years after that of the United States and the beginning of Communist China," I answered, still doodling and bored as ever. Those exam studies in Konan had really paid off, as I seemed to know a lot more than the rest of the students. Studying so much for the Jonan exams helped me retain much more, and now it's helping me study more effectively in school for my regular tests. The other students kept staring at me in amazement, and I felt my face turning red under the scrutiny of my fellow classmates. Thankfully, I was saved by the bell signaling the end of the day, and I turned, sighing, to head out the door after putting my books away.  
"Make sure you read chapter six in the book over the weekend, and be ready for a quiz on Monday!" called Mr. Saito, making the students groan in agitation. As I headed out the door to find Yui so we could go to the bookstore and buy some more manga, the teacher grabbed my arm, setting off all my defenses. It was all I could do to keep from slapping or kicking the teacher to get away from him because I felt like I was being attacked by assassins in the book. What did he want me for after class, anyway?  
I looked up at him, and I saw a smile on his face. Well, at least he isn't reprimanding me...I think?  
"Good job answering my question, Yuuki," said the teacher. "Lately, I've noticed how well you've been answering my questions, and I was thinking that you should join the history club that we have here at Jonan. Your knowledge of history is very good, and I think that you would do very well in that kind of academic environment..." Throughout his monologue, the teacher failed to notice how my face was contorting into the most comic expressions as he went deeper into his invitation. Again, I was saved by divine providence as Yui cleared her throat and signaled that we needed to go.  
I sweatdropped as I addressed Mr. Saito in the most cordial way possible, considering I had virtually no interest in studying Japanese history outside of the context of required schoolwork. "I'm sorry, but I don't think I would have time to balance it into my schedule, Mr. Saito. I'm going to have to decline the invitation..." I told him, practically running out of the classroom with my best friend since nursery school. Thank God I got out of that one! History club? Totally not my thing. Now if it was a manga-drawing club...  
"What was that all about, Miaka?" Yui inquired, breaking me out of my thoughts. "Did you get yet another invitation to join an academic club?" I couldn't help but notice how her face fell during the second question. She had always been at the top of the class, and it had to be terribly hard for her to settle for just standard when her stupid best friend was in the advanced classes at Jonan High. What a complete role reversal! I mean, who would have expected this?  
I sighed tiredly and looked at her for a moment before speaking. I was never a person to choose my words carefully, but this was definitely the time to learn now! "Um...Yui...? I've got a question to ask you..."  
"If this is about your grades being better than mine and everything, then I'm just fine. You really deserve all this, after what you've been through... It's just that it's hard getting used to and everything, but we'll be just fine in different classes," my best friend, the one I couldn't hide anything from, answered. "Anyway, why don't we go shopping for some more manga before they sell out of Ranma again? You know how the new issues go just like that!" she said with a snap of her fingers.  
I can't help but feel guilty. Everyone's always sacrificing really important things to make me happy. Keisuke, Mom, especially Yui...and I don't know what to do for them in return. They all say I do more than enough to make up for it, but I don't believe them. It's the same thing that Tamahome would do. He'd constantly tell me that I was enough, that if it was for me, it never mattered how much it cost him. He was always so selfless, never complaining about the hardships we faced, unless it pertained to money, of course! Then he'd go absolutely nuts. I can't believe I even miss that money fixation of his!  
Suddenly, there was a hand in my face, shifting up and down and blocking my vision, and a voice called out to where I was in the nebulas of space. "Miaka, earth to Miaka! Ground control to major Miaka! Anybody home?" Yui asked, practically yelling. When my eyes finally met hers, a dazed yet irritated look dancing in them, she started to laugh. "You may be smarter than I am now, but you'll always be my ditzy best friend! After everything that's happened, you have changed at all..."  
Again, her face fell, and I knew that I had to change the subject fast. "Hey, like you were saying, we really need to go to the bookstore now..." I stammered. The words sounded so rushed and forced, but I could tell that Yui was grateful that we were going to the bookstore rather than pursuing the topic further. Unfortunately, ever since we were sucked into the world of The Universe of the Four Gods, our relationship has been like walking on thin ice. We had talked once about the uneasiness of our friendship, and we had even debated whether it was all worth it, staying friends and all. Because we somehow knew that our feelings would return to normal, we decided to keep going. I'm convinced our friendship will become stronger after all of this. We've come too far to back down now.  
Yui smiled. "Don't worry, Miaka. Everything's settled between us. You can talk to me about anything, okay? Remember that. But before we go to the bookstore, I've got a little place I want to take you to first."  
I eyed her suspiciously for a moment and asked, "What kind of place?"  
Again, her pearly whites showed in another smile as she said, "It's a surprise." 


	2. When I Couldn't Hold You

**Fields of Gold**

**Chapter Two: When I Couldn't Hold You**

**By Minako-hime**

Author's Note: I hope you all like this story. I suddenly got the urge to write this story, and I don't know where the urge came from at all. Well, here goes the second chapter. I wasn't planning on this story being more than one chapter, but I guess I'll make like Watase-san and just let the story flow and see what happens. Here we go! And lyrics are in italics!

Disclaimer: Oh, and who can forget these stupid things? Why do we have to write these? Okay, if anyone is interested in suing me for writing this, I encourage you to look at this little bit right here. I don't own Fushigi Yuugi! If I did, I wouldn't be spending on manga just for this series. This is all for the personal enjoyment of myself and others. It is the flow of creativity in us all that must come out. Okay, enough with the corny stuff and on with the story! Oh, and the title is not mine! Hehe! This is a songfic based on the song "Fields of Gold."

As Yui dragged me along the streets of Tokyo, clutching my arm with a death-grip, I kept trying to break away from her grasp. I don't like surprises, so shoot me. In my case, surprises always turnout to be bad. Always. So I fear them intensely, and I tried desperately to get away from her. Finally, I broke free and grabbed a "No Parking" sign, holding it like it was my salvation. "Yui, please, just tell me what it is! I'm scared of surprises!"

"Miaka, there's no need to be scared. This is completely harmless. You're in Tokyo; you're not in Konan or Kutou anymore. I know you'll like this. Just trust me," she told me, trying to be soothing and prying my fingers off the pole, one by one.

Despite her attempts, I held fast to the sign and continued to shake like a leaf. Yui finally got the hint, and she let me go, but I knew that she wouldn't give up without at least getting a word in. "I know that you loved Tamahome very much, even more than I did, but you have to live your life without him. Before you lost him, you weren't scared to face anything. You'd just go right in! But now, you're afraid of just living! Do you think this is what Tamahome would want? For you to be a coward that can't even face a surprise from your best friend?" By the time she'd finished her speech, my hands had released the pole on their own, and she was holding me in a comforting embrace as I sobbed into her Jonan school uniform.

When my tears had abated, Yui began leading me down the street again. I just let her pull me along; it was all I could do to just follow. I missed him so much...and there was absolutely no chance that I would be able to see him again. Keisuke and Yui had been trying over and over again to fix me up with someone, but I was never in the mood. I would never been in the mood. No one would be able to make me happy and complete the way Tamahome did. When I fell in love with him, I gave him all of me, as he gave me all of him. It was something I would never be able to give to anybody else. I just hope he still thinks about me. Hopefully he's happier than I am right now...

"Miaka, I'm taking you somewhere really special. I just know you'll love it. Tetsuya showed it to me a few months ago when we first started dating. It's just so beautiful, it'll take your breath away," Yui chatted away, trying to make things less tense. I was hardly listening; I was off in my own little world again. The attention I was paying to Yui at the moment was the equivalent to that of when I was dozing off in class.

_Oo..._

Fifteen minutes later, I was still so lost in thought that I didn't realize we had reached my house. Wait a second... My house...? Why are we at my house...? "Yui, is this...the surprise...?" I inquired, thoroughly confused. After a moment, the worst thought crossed my mind. "Oh, no! Are we moving?!"

I didn't realize it then, but the look on Yui's face was probably the funniest I've ever seen in my life when she said, "Moving?! Where did you get an idea like that, baka?!"

"Well, what did you expect me to think?! You take me to my house, and there's nothing different about it! I mean, what else could it be?" I answered her, but the frustration was clearly expressed on my best friend's face; she was completely lost in my reasoning. I don't blame her; I don't get it myself sometimes.

About two seconds later, my brother stuck his head out of his brand new car, an irritated expression on his face, a long with that LOOK; you know, the one that says, "I'm gonna eat you alive if you don't stop doing whatever is pissing me off!" Instantly, both of us were quaking in our boots. Keisuke is NOT a fun person when he's mad! "Miaka, Yui, what are you waiting for?! Get in the car before I leave your sorry butts!" he screamed, making us scamper to the new sports car like cockroaches to the safe haven of the darkness.

When I buckled up in the car, I expected the ride to be ten minutes at the most. But as the scenery changed from colorful signs and the cement of buildings to green pastures and farmhouses, I realized this was going to take a while. We probably wouldn't get around to going to the bookstore today. Ranma would have to wait, yet again. "Keisuke, how much longer until we get there?" I asked, slightly agitated. I could see him physically tense up from behind the seat; his shoulders went rigid, and his knuckles turned white as he grasped the wheel more tightly. By the way, I'm glad the steering wheel was not an animal. Otherwise, it would have died in his death grip.

"Miaka!!! We'll get there when we get there! Stop asking me!" Keisuke screamed. Both of us covered our ears to block out the brunt of the noise, hopefully preventing hearing damage. Nonetheless, we still heard a faint ringing in our ears even after Keisuke stopped his little tirade.

Jeez! I'd only asked him once, anyway! I guess he got a bad grade on that huge paper he'd been working on all semester long! The baka didn't have to take it out on me! Yui put a hand on mine; she'd noticed the redness that denoted my anger.

"It's not worth it, Miaka-chan... I want you to be happy when you see my surprise!" she said in a forced whisper. Keisuke's head cocked a tiny bit towards us, but we were silent long before he could make out a single word. "Stop listening in, Keisuke! It's none of your business!" I could always count on Yui to set Keisuke straight. Sometimes, you'd think he was scared of her.

I could imagine his face turning the shade of a beet, but he was obviously turned away, so I couldn't see it. But I could hear the deep, low growl resonating from his throat. Yui and I snickered for a bit, and I could swear I saw smoke leaking from his ears. It was hilarious to watch Keisuke when he was trying to restrain himself.

The rest of the ride was spent in awkward silence, and I shifted uncomfortably in my seat as we coasted to a stop in a secluded field. "Okay... What are we doing here...?" I asked Yui.

Without warning, she put her hands over my eyes. "Just wait," she said. "I'll uncover your eyes soon, and you'll see something absolutely beautiful. Just be patient and let me lead you." She felt me stiffen upon hearing the words "let me lead you," and she soothed me by whispering, "You know I won't let you fall or bump into anything, Miaka." Why did I still find it so hard to trust my best friend after six months of not being rivals in the race for summoning Suzaku and Seiryu?! Would our friendship never be the same after what had happened between us?

I closed my eyes, still not altogether trusting, but I let her lead me to whatever the surprise was. I felt soft tingling on my legs as I walked; the sensations were like millions of tiny feathers tickling my skin. "What is this stuff tickling my legs, Yui-chan?!" I asked irritably.

"Just a minute, Miaka-chan... Gosh, you gotta learn to be more patient!" Yui said in response to my agitated state. She giggled lightly under her breath, thinking I couldn't hear, but in this close proximity, I could hear a pin drop. But Yui was obviously doing something totally out of her way for me, so I decided to hold my tongue.

Suddenly, we came to a stop, but we had been moving so quickly, I fell like a vaulting horseman that fell from his steed. "Ow!!! Yui! Why didn't you tell me you were gonna stop?!"

"Sorry. Guess I got a little carried away. Anyway, get your head out of the grass and look around!" Yui goaded happily, anticipating a squeal of delight from me.

Yui got just what she expected. What I saw took my breath away, it was so beautiful! Rows and rows of wheat, ready for the harvest, filled my line of vision from where I was standing all the way to the horizon. The softly blowing wind allowed the stalks to move like waves in the sea, and I was soon captured by the hypnotic rhythm of their perfect dance. How could one glimpse of nature's wonders suddenly make everything all right? It was like everything but that ocean of grain was gone from my mind, and I was at the threshold of complete peace and harmony.

Unknown to me, Keisuke stood smiling behind me and looked at Yui, mouthing his thanks to her for cheering up his little sister that he loved so much. How long had it been since he'd actually seen the beautiful little waif in front of him without that hint of sadness she tried to hide from everyone? Although most people never noticed, so much about his sibling had changed since she'd entered that dangerous book because of the unspeakable grief she'd experienced and the inconceivable things she'd witnessed before her very eyes. The innocence he'd loved about her was gone, replaced with a knowledge of the evil in this world that no one her age should possess. When would his precious little sister be happy again? Would the sadness he felt for her ever stop overwhelming him, making him so pale and gaunt that everyone, even his best friend, Tetsuya, worried about whether he was really taking care of himself like he ought? He wondered how long he would last before collapsing somewhere, unable to carry the weight that was wearing him down anymore.

Soon, within the whispering waves of wheat, I saw someone. Tall, handsome, and wearing a ghastly familiar cloak and flowing garments of Chinese origin, I froze, certain of who it was...Tamahome. Could he really be here, standing only twenty feet from me? Had he finally fulfilled our promise? I broke into a run as soon I had the sense to, followed by the surprised gazes of Yui and Keisuke, who did not attempt to stop me. Did that mean they saw him too? Then he must be real! As I approached him, only five feet away now, he opened his arms, waiting for me to join him in a long-overdue embrace.

But, without warning, I found the figure in front of me to be only an illusion, a figment of my desperate imagination and heart, as I passed through him, a rush of air embracing me instead of the warm arms of the person I loved. Turning around, I found the apparition still staring at me, mocking my stupidity and hopeful idiocy. "You're...not Tamahome! How dare...you taunt me like...this...you hateful demon!!! Leave me to my grief!!!!"

After a few screams of heartbreaking torment and anguish, I found myself in the arms of my older brother, who comforted me as best he could with soothing whispers and soft strokes along the contours of my back. As he held me close to him, I could feel his every rib jutting into my delicate skin and the weakness of his tired embrace, and I realized just how badly my condition was affecting him. How long had Keisuke been deteriorating like this because of me? Why hadn't I noticed it sooner, before it became serious?! "Keisuke...you saw him, too...didn't you?"

He tightened his arms around me and whispered into my ear, "Yes, Yui and I both did... I don't know what's going on, but I'll get to the bottom of it... So, don't you worry, okay, Miaka?" My brother was the best anyone could ask for in this world, and I loved him so much. I had never appreciated him like I should have until my adventures in the book world, but now I realize just how wonderful he is. He would follow through on his promise to find out what was going on; if he said it, he would do it. "Thanks, Onii-chan..."

"You're welcome," he replied, moving his gentle hand from my back to the auburn hair atop my head, running his fingers through it tenderly like he did whenever I'd cried as a little girl. His body tensed for only a moment, as if he were in terrible pain, and I became even more worried about him than the time he'd been hospitalized for pneumonia. He was soon a crumpled heap in my arms, unconscious, and I felt myself sinking under the extra weight.

"KEISUKE!!!!!" I screamed in fright, attempting to shake him awake. Shocked, Yui quickly covered the distance between us and helped me set my brother in the cushiony grass. As we frantically pulled out Keisuke's cell phone, the only hope we had of getting him the help he needed, we failed to notice a boy vaulting from a high tree and running as fast as his legs could carry him toward us, his bluish-black hair moving in a mocking mimicry of the wind his motion created.

"Keisuke! Speak to me! Wake up!" Yui called out to him, firmly shaking his body in terror. Her face had become pallid, and her eyes widened as he didn't stir after several desperate attempts to jar him to consciousness.

"What happened to him?! Is he all right?! Let me see him!" this mysterious stranger that bore such an uncanny resemblance to Tamahome yelled to us in utter panic.


	3. OneWay Trip down Memory Lane

**Fields of Gold**

**Chapter 3: One-Way Trip down Memory Lane**

**By Minako-hime**

Author's Note: I've had just the most awesome time writing this story, and I would like to take this time to thank you al for reading my story that has been so belatedly updated...sweatdrops Well, since this note is being written right smack-dab in the middle of my writing this chapter, I really hope that I won't get this out so late this time... I've been very busy lately, what with college and everything else. But you make time for the things that you love, and I love writing. My English composition class has made me realize that. Anyway, if you guys have any questions or concerns, please review or e-mail me (I won't bite, in fact, I love reader-writer interaction because it really encourages me). Please read and review to tell me what you think and any possible suggestions. Oh, and if I don't update in what seems like forever, you are free to e-mail me or review and tell me to hurry my butt up! Just no flames, please; they will make me write less! Anyway, on with the disclaimer! Oh, and lyrics are in italics if you get confused! Join me in confusion!

Disclaimer: I hate these stupid things... How many times do I have to say that I don't own Fushigi Yuugi! I wouldn't even be able to go to college if I didn't have scholarships and grants. Pell Grant and Teaching Fellows scholarship rock, along with my college! Haha! Did you actually think I'd tell you what college I'm attending?! I now longer know how much money I have spent on this series... I'm gonna have to count... counts and keeps losing count I'm gonna have to work on that if I ever wanna graduate with a BS in Mathematics and a Secondary Teacher Licensure! O.o;;;

I gazed up at the tall figure above me when he reached us, gawking at the familiarity of his face. Blue-violet eyes stared back at me for the shortest second longer than you would expect, recognition flashing in them for a moment, then fading to frantic panic.

You'll remember me when the west wind moves upon the fields of barley... 

The lithe and muscular teenager fell to his knees and immediately seized my brother's wrist for a pulse that was faintly there, then bent down to listen for the sound of breathing. Nothing. As I was dialing for an ambulance, he locked his worried eyes with mine, saying, "Hurry, dial as fast as you can! I don't know what's wrong, but I have the feeling that his life is dependent upon how quickly an ambulance gets here! I'll give him rescue breathing and try my best to revive him, but I don't know how long he'll last!"

All I could do was nod, feeling too incapacitated to even dial the cellular phone in my hands, but I managed to punch the numbers required, and I waited desperately for a voice on the other end. My questions for this boy who looked so much like my lost love would have to wait; Keisuke's life was more important.

"Please tell me your emergency and your location," said a well-trained voice through the receiver, and I found myself to be rendered speechless. The pressure of my brother's possible death put me at a loss for action, let alone words, and I was frozen on my end of the line. "Are you all right?" the concerned operator asked, then commanded me, saying, "Don't panic. Please tell me your emergency, and I'll try to figure out how I can help you from there... Are you there?"

As she slowly realized my inability to function after this shocking turn of events, Yui grabbed the phone and easily told the woman our location, making sure she was more than detailed enough, and, as she was enlightened by the operator, barked orders to the young man trying to save my brother's life. After nearly half an hour of exhausting attempts, all he could do was restore Keisuke's breathing to labored gasps, and the emergency medical technicians carefully laid him on a stretcher to wheel him on the vehicle with Yui and me in tow. If only we had not been in this secluded field... They would have gotten here much faster that way. Maybe if I hadn't been depressed in the first place, this never would have happened... It's all MY fault...!

"I'll meet you at the hospital! Intercom me so I can meet you two somewhere! He'll likely be in the operating room and intensive care for a good while! My name is Sukunami Taka! Don't forget!" The strikingly familiar boy now known as Taka yelled over the commotion of the medical technicians, running to his car with his head turned toward us instead of the direction in which he was going. Without a wasted second, he had already pulled out of the field, racing to the hospital like a man possessed.

Almost instantly upon entering the ambulance, I collapsed into my best friend's arms in tears, unable to watch the people saving Keisuke's life connecting various medical instruments onto his unresponsive body. She simply comforted me the same way Keisuke would, knowing the practically instantaneous effect it had on me. If Yui had not been there, I don't know if I would have been able to even remain conscious through the shaky ride to the hospital. As soon as my brother had passed out, I could feel the same force pulling violently on my mind, and I had to force myself, with Yui's help, to keep from fainting. "Oh, Keisuke...!" I cried, simply letting the sobs wrack my body in near convulsions, almost throwing my best friend to the floor with my blind movements.

"Miaka-chan, please pull yourself together! Hysterics will not help Keisuke's situation... Ugh!" Yui managed to state before she lost her hold of me, losing her balance in the process as well, and landing unceremoniously on the floor. "No good. She's lost it..." And she was right; I had. How I was supposed to stay sane when my brother could still lose his life, and I had seen someone who looked exactly like my lover from Konan with a different name, all in the same, previously uneventful day? What else could I do but fall apart? Absolutely nothing. And right then, I felt like nothing. I couldn't help my brother, couldn't bring myself to talk to this Tamahome look-alike, and could barely keep myself from fainting right there in the ambulance.

Yui must have been able to read my mind. She seemed to have been cultivating that ability quite well lately because she screamed over the shouts of the technicians, "Miaka, stay awake! At least wait until we can get into the hospital before you faint! There, they'll be able to take care of you, but right now, they've only got one stretcher and are concentrating on reviving your brother! Do all you can to keep yourself conscious! Please, I'm begging you!" She was right, so I tried my absolute best, but as soon as we could arrive at the hospital, I had no idea how long I could last. One look at Sukunami Taka would probably be more than I could take...

Within another half hour, we arrived at one of the leading university's hospitals, and I watched helplessly as Keisuke was wheeled into the operating room. His breathing was still only coming in frequent, labored gasps, and he had not regained consciousness. Poor, sweet Keisuke... He didn't deserve this pain and this vicious battle for his own life. He was too kind and gentle to be tormented like this. It reminded me of Tamahome's endless suffering. Neither of them ever deserved what they went through for me! As soon as my older brother's frail body disappeared through the double doors, I collapsed onto the overly-sterilized tile floors and sobbed, and Yui immediately seized me in her fierce embrace, half-supporting and half-carrying me to a chair in the waiting area.

Suddenly, a harried and frenzied young man burst through the doors, looking every conceivable way for any indication of either one of us, and Yui signaled for him to hurry over. Upon seeing my condition, his expression transformed from worry to utter terror, and he quickened his pace, reaching us in a matter of seconds. "Miss, maybe you should let me speak with her..."

"My name's Yui, and that is fine me, Taka. But you'll want to be very gentle and easy with her. She collapsed only a minute ago when she saw her brother go into the operating room..." Yui cautioned him, making sure he understood the magnitude of the situation. When he nodded, she entrusted me to him, hoping that my seeing him wouldn't cause my state to worsen. "Oh, and he name is Miaka, if you're wondering."

"Miaka, ne...?" he whispered thoughtfully, allowing the precious syllables to roll off of his tongue. Precious? What was he thinking? He had only just met this girl, despite the fact that perhaps she was the one for whom he was looking, the one he had so willingly protected with seven others in his very blurry past life. Her creamy white skin was now deathly pale as she cried heartbreakingly into the back of the chair. "Miaka...are you all right?"

I turned on a dime to face him. "What kind of question is that, baka yaro?! Of course I'm not all right! My brother's in the OR fighting for his life, and...and...!" I screamed, using the last ounce of my strength before I fell forward, straight into his arms that rushed to catch my light body. His touch, his warmth...all the same...! I could fell myself stiffen in his hold; it was so sudden, such a shock, and I knew that I was incapable of absorbing it at the moment. My eyes closed as I became limp in his powerful grasp, finally giving into the nagging darkness threatening to steal my consciousness. "Tama...home...I..." The last thing I could hear before I passed out was Taka's panicked scream of my name.

My much-needed sleep was interrupted by two familiar, hushed voices, and I seemed to be topic of discussion. I closed eyes again, feigning slumber so I could continue to listen to their conversation.

"Yui-san, do you think that she's really okay? It's been over twenty-four since Miaka fainted, and she still hasn't woken! I'm really worried!" I heard Taka speaking in the voice he seemed to have stolen from my lost love, Tamahome. I could sense the preoccupation of worry in his tone, and my heart ached for him, despite my telling myself that he isn't Tamahome multiple times. "I mean, Keisuke-san has already regained consciousness and is in stable condition in intensive care. She should be awake by now!"

"Taka-san, you must be patient with her! She's had a lot on her plate lately! Do you really expect her to get over what has happened to her brother this quickly? You don't know what that girl has been through in the past year... You have no right to say anything...!" Yui responded, wiping stray tears from her face. "Miaka is the strongest person I know. I've seen her come out on the other side of the worst situations anyone could encounter, and she STILL wanted to be my friend after all that I did to her! So, please...don't judge her, okay...?" Yui-chan...she's so devoted to me... Why does she still feel so guilty about what happened? I told her everything was okay between us now... Doesn't she know that I've forgiven her, that I ached for her friendship the whole time we were forced to be rivals?!

My eyes opened again, more slowly this time, and the faces of the two people I cared about most came into focus. Taka was the first to notice, rushing to my side in half a second's passing. "Miaka...! I'm so glad you're awake now! You have no idea how worried we were...!" How could he be so worried? He couldn't be as concerned as Tamahome would in such a situation, could he? It wasn't possible for him to come to this world, was it...? Soon, as I looked into his violet-blue eyes, all my doubts were washed away into their unfathomable depths. This boy before me, the one who now possessed every last feature that belonged to my lover in _The Universe of the Four Gods_, was the reincarnation of Tamahome of the Suzaku Seishi!

"T-Tamahome...? I'm so...glad...you came back to me...!" I whispered happily, and I noticed Taka had to bend down in order to hear my weak and quiet voice. "Oh, sorry... I didn't mean to talk so softly..." I said in a volume no louder than before. That was when I realized how weak I really was at the moment. Worrying about my brother must have taken a lot out of me. My eyes involuntarily closed, and when I opened them again, I saw a frightened expression on Taka's face, and I reached towards him with my left hand, attempting to calm him with my touch. His eyes wandered from my fact to the ring adorning my tiny ring finger, suddenly grasping it with full strength as he fully examined it.

My wrist and hand screamed with pain in his iron grip, and I couldn't stifle a cry of my own that nearly deafened him, alerting him that he was hurting me. He quickly loosened his grip on me, still not releasing my hand so that he could continue looking at the ring that Tamahome and I had exchanged with one another. Without warning, Taka gently removed it from my hand, much to my protest, and he gazed at it, comparing it with his own that I spotted upon his ring finger. It was my turn to take his ring from his hand, and I remained transfixed, examining it and playing with it in my frail hands. His ring...so much bigger than mine...a size nine, in fact, for his large, sinewy hand... But it's exactly the same on that I gave...to Tamahome! My Tamahome had come back to me, wearing one of the matching wedding rings that we had exchanged during our little makeshift ceremony. "You found me...just like you said you would...in your note..." I whispered, forcing the words out of my exhausted body almost inaudibly.

He took my bony, little hand in both of his big, strong ones, then said, "I can't believe it. I've been searching all these years...but the time that I found you was when I wasn't looking, when I had almost given up hope. But there is one thing you have to know, Miaka. I am not Tamahome and never will be. I am an entirely separate person, and you will probably find a lot of differences between us. I wish that I could be all that he was for you, but I can't...so, before we continue...that is something you must accept about me. I hope that all of me is enough...for you to love me with all your heart." At the end of this heavily emotional exchange between his heart and mine, he closed his eyes, as if the wait for my answer was too nerve-wracking to bear. I so wished that he would reveal those deep pools of violet to me again...

My other hand reached for his of its own will, and I softly caressed his rough, calloused skin atop the many bones and tendons that had protected me so well in his previous life as my guardian. "I'll do anything just to be with you...even if we have to fall in love with each other all over again! Please...just stay with me, Tama—I mean...Taka... I'm sorry... I didn't mean to call you that... Even if you do share the same soul, you are two very different people, aren't you?"

"I'm sure it's hard to get used to, so it's alright for now. Just relax, and everything will be all right. You know, Keisuke-san's awake again. When you feel better, I'll take you up to ICU to see him. But you're much too weak and fragile right now, Miaka. I was so afraid when you fainted... I couldn't bear the thought of losing you when we had just found each other again. I only wish I could hold you in my arms now, but if I did, I think I might break you." A small smile spread across his handsome face, accentuating his boyish feature and making him look absolutely adorable. I would never have to fall in love with him again, I realized then. He was so earnest, so kind, so protective... But I could already see a few differences between the two. Taka was much less shy than Tamahome. Tamahome would never have confessed his love to me so soon after we'd met. Nearly a minute later, he opened his mouth to speak again and said, "Please rest now, and don't push yourself. I'll stay with you until you wake again, all night if need be. I love you, and I'm never gonna let you out of my sight again!"

He never let go of my hand. Instead, he used one of his own to stroke the bangs away from y face and comb through my hair with his nimble fingers, effectively putting me to sleep. With Taka by my side, I would never need another lullaby; his gentle touch would easily do the trick. Content, I was finally able to descend into the depths of peaceful slumber of which I had not seen the likes in over half a year.


	4. You Can't Always Be the One

**Fields of Gold**

**Chapter 4: You Can't Always Be the One**

**By miakatama86**

Author's Note: I can't believe I already have a new idea right after I finished the last chapter! This is more than I could ever wish for. I never thought that I would be able to write this naturally... I'm just so happy, and I can't believe how full my heart feels at the moment, finding out that I can do this! Writing really is the thing I love most. I hope you feel that this chapter is as good as I feel it will be. I haven't even started writing it yet, but I just know that it will be great! Please read and review!

Disclaimer: Can't I just skip this? I'm not making any money off of this, I promise, and someone would be stupid to actually pay me for it! I don't own Fushigi Yuugi, either, although I wish I did. That would be fun, wouldn't it? Then, I wouldn't have to waste my time writing these idiotic disclaimers so I won't get sued! Please don't sue me! You wouldn't get anything, anyway, and you can't have my scholarship money, so there! On with the story!

As I slept, I had disturbing dreams, dreams that kept me in nothing more than a fitful state of unconsciousness. The very last was the only one I could remember, but I knew that it carried the same message as the others: Taka was not Tamahome. He would never be the man with whom I had fallen in love, never, no matter how hard he tried. He would never fulfill my desires, and I would never be able to love him like I do Tamahome. Never. Those were the dreams that haunted me all night...and when I woke up the next morning from a restless slumber, I had already begun to believe them.

When my eyes opened, I saw the person I now wasn't sure that I could love sleeping soundly, one hand still stroking my auburn strands, the other maintaining a gentle grip on my hand. And was he snoring...? Well, at least he's not as bad as Keisuke. Keisuke! That's right! I wanna see him... Didn't he promise that he would take me to him soon?

"Tama—I mean, Taka!" He didn't stir in the slightest, so I resorted to shaking him a little, to which he did respond and woke with a start. His gaze was bewildered and appeared to be exhausted, and as soon as he had opened those mystical orbs, I smiled at him nervously and played with his hand that continued to hold mine. The smile he gave back to me was so disarming and warm that if I had been standing, my legs would surely have turned to jelly. But it was somehow...different from Tamahome's.

And that was why I let go of his hand, averting my eyes from his. Taka easily figured out that something was deeply amiss. "Miaka...? What's wrong? Are you okay? Do you need something? I mean, I can get you anything... If you want it, just tell me...and I'll get it..." he stammered, very unsure of himself. It seemed very much like he was out of his place, his comfort zone... But wasn't he? Wasn't he trying to be someone he could never, ever be?

"Just listen for a second, would you...?!" I demanded, raising my voice. Taka was taken aback, and his expression more than gave it away, along with another emotion that I wasn't sure I could place. Was it anger...or sadness? I soon found out it was a great deal of both as he looked down for a moment, his shoulders visibly shaking with the conflicting feelings with which he was struggling, and when he finally spoke, it was with a quavering voice.

"Miaka...I'm listening now...so, um...just say what you want to say, and I'll get out of your hair. But don't think I'll give up that easily. You've made it pretty clear you don't want me here now...but I'm coming back, and it'll be sooner than you think...because I love you, Miaka! I will NOT let you slip through my fingers like you did so many times before!" All I could think when he finished his tirade was how Tamahome would never have retaliated so quickly after I'd lashed out at him. This reincarnation was much bolder than the volatile seventeen year-old boy I had known in _The Universe of the Four Gods_. Tamahome would have allowed himself to wallow in self-pity before he'd have the sense to do the right thing and confront me about what was bothering him. I couldn't shake however, the nagging thought in my mind that maybe I was wrong, that perhaps this boy was more like Tamahome than I gave him credit. Taka did remember at least a little about the book world, obviously. How else could he have known about all the times that I'd run away from him during his past life as Tamahome?

After several awkward seconds, I realized that I was supposed to say something to him. "Please, just...take me to my brother. I want to see Keisuke...now!" It seemed to take nearly a minute for what I said to register to him, and I felt impatience building up inside me. Why was he being so hesitant? Didn't he know how badly I needed to see my brother and find out for myself whether he was all right or not?

He hung his head, unable to meet my gaze, and replied, "Okay... I will do that, but your mother will have to bring you back here. She stayed here all night, too, and she only decided to watch your brother after I told her that I would stay with you. I guess she trusts me because she thinks I'm the reason her son is still alive. I'll be back sometime later... I haven't decided when. I know something's wrong, but now's not the time to ask what." He paused for some reason, and after a few seconds, I was starting to get annoyed. It turned out that he was the one waiting on me. "Well, are you ready to go now?" Taka asked in a very curt manner as he turned away, fetching a wheelchair from the wall near the bed.

"As a matter of fact, I am," I answered, attempting to make my voice sound more certain, less like the raging war of emotions being waged inside me. After the chair was placed in front of me, I sat up, turning myself around so that my feet were pointing towards the ground, and I attempted to stand, a bit unsure of whether I actually had the ability right then. When I released the railing that supported me, I felt my legs give out from under me, sending me hurtling forward into strong, able arms that felt all-too-familiar. The security I felt in his arms was exactly like what I received from Tamahome when he'd held me. It was so confusing... In some ways he was so different...but in other, more important ways, he was exactly the same...

Taka smirked, closing his eyes to inhale the sweet scent of lilacs from my hair as he spoke. "On second thought, maybe I shouldn't leave you here alone... You're still really weak... Someone's gonna have to make sure you eat today. Keisuke said you started skipping meals after you and Tamahome were separated and that you were hospitalized... He said you still don't eat enough to keep a bird alive. I wanted to say, 'Look who's talking? How do you think YOU got into the hospital?' But that would have been really rude of me... It seems he was too preoccupied worrying about you to take care of himself, you know?" With that, he chuckled and placed me gingerly into the wheelchair and took me down to the second floor where ICU and Keisuke were.

When we reached the door leading into intensive care, Taka pressed the red button for service, and a woman said through the intercom, "State the last name of the patient you wish to see. Please understand that only two visitors are allowed at once."

"Yuuki, and there are only two of us," he coolly replied, and the doors opened before us, allowing us access into a room filled with a cacophony of the beeping of vital monitors, and the voices of nurses, doctors, patients, and visitors. Taka had clearly already been down here and easily bypassed the other patients, and we found my brother asleep with my mother sitting by him in the third room on the right. "Mrs. Yuuki...?"

My mother turned around, a tired expression on her face, and let out a pent-up yawn. Her makeup had long since worn off, and I spotted tearstains on her cheeks, along with puffy, dark circles of fatigue and weeping under her eyes. She smiled at us and stood, running towards us and encircling me in a tight, loving hug. "Oh, Miaka...! I was so worried about both of you! I don't know what I would have done if I lost either one of you! I'm so glad Taka was here to save my precious little boy...! And you don't know how happy I am that he was there to watch you, baby girl...! You have no idea how relieved seeing you both okay makes me feel...!" She then met eyes with our savior, Taka, and said, "Thank you so much... How can I ever repay you?"

"It was nothing, Mrs. Yuuki, really. But maybe you and I should step out and give Miaka and Keisuke some time alone because it really hit her pretty hard, you know?" Taka said, easily shrugging off the compliment and clearing the room of himself and my mother more quickly than I ever thought possible. He was good; he had gotten into my mother's good graces and had her wrapped around his little finger in less than forty-eight hours flat.

"Dang, he's smooth... Tamahome would have...fumbled that up really badly..." Keisuke whispered, showing off that adorable, very sleepy grin of his and coughing weakly between his painfully short phrases. He was still so pale, nearly as white as the sheet on his bed, and his normally full cheeks were deeply sunken in, along with his dark blue eyes. My heart crumbled to see my usually strong and stable brother like this. He was so frail and defenseless, lying in that bed and hooked up to machines that monitored his condition, gave him medication, fluids, and the nutrients his body had lacked for so long. He would die if they were suddenly disconnected. "Gomen ne, Miaka-chan... I didn't mean to make you worry like this... Taka told me you didn't...take it so well... I should have realized...I would be no good to you if...I let myself get sick worrying all the time...over you, Sis." His scrawny hand brushed wayward bangs from my eyes, tucking them behind my ears in a protective, big-brotherly fashion.

"Why did you let this go so far, Nii-chan...? I mean, you could've died if Taka hadn't come and given you rescue breathing... Neither of us knew what to do besides call an ambulance... You wouldn't be here anymore because...you weren't breathing after you passed out, Keisuke...!" Suddenly, he brought my upper body down with his arm, letting my head rest on his chest so he could stroke my hair again. He'd really taken a liking to that, hadn't he? He'd been doing it all the time lately. "You don't know how worried...I was about you... You look really sick...and you gotta take care of yourself...!"

Coughing, he nodded his head, covering his mouth with his fist as he agreed with me and smiled. "...Yeah, let's keep each other in check...'kay? You're not looking so good yourself...you know?" my big brother said, half joking and half serious as he made a deal with me. I squeezed his hand gently, signaling my consent and closing my eyes as I drifted into a more peaceful slumber. How could Keisuke's presence make me feel so...calm? Since I'd been an infant, he alone could pacify me when I was especially upset, when Mother could do nothing for me at all. "Anyway, why don't we go back to that field when we get out of this god-forsaken place...? What do you...think, Miaka...?" he inquired, looking at me when I didn't respond. "Jeez...you're so hopeless...!"

This small exclamation was soon followed by a fit of hacking coughs that sent Mrs. Yuuki, followed by Taka, flying into the room. As soon as Keisuke had removed his tightly curled fist from his mouth, he gazed at the frightening sight of small spatters of crimson adorning his starched white sheets. "Oh...no...! Get Miaka out of...here, Taka...! Please...don't tell her what happened...! It'll only...make her worse... I couldn't take it if...something else happened...to her!"

Taka nodded and gently took the very light body of the one he loved in his arms, disregarding the wheelchair because he knew that it would be returned to its rightful location: Miaka's hospital room. But before he left with his precious cargo, he stated in a quiet voice to Keisuke, "You have no idea, Keisuke, no idea at all... If anything happens to her now, it'll be your fault. She's not stupid; she'll find out soon enough what's going on. And when she does, I'll have to watch her deteriorate, just like you did. It isn't fair to your mother or me that we have to see you two like this... I hope you feel better soon, Keisuke-san." With that, he left two bewildered members of the Yuuki family in the intensive care unit, carrying the last one in his sure grip as she slept soundly.

It wasn't long before I stirred in his powerful arms, yawning deeply and stretching out comfortably as I opened my large hazel eyes, blinking in surprise at the figure I saw. "Taka...? What are you doing here? I thought you...were leaving after taking me to Keisuke... And why am I not with him...?" Wasn't I just sleeping in my big brother's arms? He needed me there beside him after his terrifying ordeal. And I wasn't there. Instead, I had been sleeping in the arms of my beloved...Tamahome. Wait a second! How could I even think that he was the boy with whom I'd fallen in love in _The Universe of the Four Gods_?! Taka is very different from Tamahome in a number of ways!

"But his touch, his warm embrace, his voice...they're all the same," another voice deep inside me supplied, breaking the certainty I had developed in my mind that this boy who looked so much like my beloved could never be the person that I truly loved. "He has the iron will that Tamahome possessed. He looks exactly the same as he did, and he even has his ring. Doesn't that mean that this is Tamahome himself, reincarnated in your world so that you two can be together at last? You should be thanking Suzaku Sei-kun for the miracle that he has wrought for the both of you, Miaka, not doubting the work of his hand!" I was at a loss. Whom should I believe? Should I doubt my visions from the previous night and listen to the voice of what could possibly be my heart...? How in the world was I supposed to decide in a baffling situation like this?! It was too much...! I buried my face in the fabric of Taka's shirt and bawled into his strong, comforting chest, feeling his hand automatically settle on my bony back, traveling back and forth slowly, soothingly, like his soft, quiet whispers in my ear.

"It'll be okay, Miaka...don't worry about a thing... I know it's hard for you right now. You loved my past form so much, and I can't expect you to readily accept me as Tamahome. And it doesn't help that you and your brother are both in the hospital, too weak and fragile to even walk... How about we start out as just good friends, ne...? We can worry about falling in love as we go... How about that?" he reassured me, smiling a little nervously, hoping that I'd accept the offer. He was just so precious, looking at me with boyish fear, naïve happiness, absolute sincerity and boundless love all blended together in one, tiny gesture. If he weren't dressed in a wrinkled navy button-down with his shirttail hanging out of his dark blue jeans instead of colorful Ancient Chinese garb, I wouldn't have second-guessed his identity as Tamahome.

After a few seconds of the rhythmic drumming of his shoes on the hospital's tile as we walked through several corridors, I placed my hand on his cheek and smiled, showing my acceptance of his proposal. He then grinned broadly at me, stopped, and spun around quickly as both us laughed giddily together, soon becoming very dizzy. Learning to love this even sillier version of Tamahome was going to be easier than I thought.


	5. Learning to Love You

**Fields of Gold**

**Chapter 5: Learning to Love You**

**By miakatama86**

Author's Note: I'm sorry that I haven't updated sooner, even though it hasn't been that long since I last updated. I feel badly that I haven't written in two days because of all the work that I've had to do lately. College is rough, no da! I really love it, though. I wish that I could find out what my grades are right now, but I can't... Oh, well, I'd rather write instead of worrying about my grades, since I know that they are good, anyway! I've been bursting at the seams with new ideas for this little story of mine. It's so cool that I have so much inspiration for it. If any of you are still reading my story for Gundam Wing, please be reminded that that piece of work has been put on hold indefinitely. Sorry, but, unlike for this one, I have no inspiration for that story. I will probably end it, anyway. By the way, I'm typing this note before I write the chapter, so it may already be gone, you know? Or it may even be updated before this one! Who knows? Thank you for all the wonderful reviews that you guys wrote! They're such a good form of encouragement. Please keep it up! And hopefully this chapter will have less usage of the word "very." My kudos to Kawaii Youko because her stories are great, and she always reviews! And thank you for the consecutive reviews, Lizfels. They are greatly appreciated! Lyrics are in italics! Oh, and someone please tell me whether you think I went a little too morbid in chapter four? Onegai! I've been a little worried about that... And are you averse to angst in this story? I mean, I did put it in the drama genre... Anyway, I will be sad without reviews! You guys wouldn't want me sad, would you? Don't even bother answering that! O.o;;; Well, on with the retarded disclaimer!

Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yuugi or have any affiliations with Watase Yuu or any others that were involved in its creation for either the manga or the anime. But no one can take away the fact that I got to meet Nuriko's seiyuu, Sakamoto Chika, which was like so awesome! Anime conventions rule!

After Taka had finished spinning me around in his apparent joy that I had agreed to be close friends with him, he walked me into the room, successfully colliding with the unforgiving door frame and bruising both of us in the process. "Ano...Taka...maybe you should have waited until you weren't so dizzy...?" I suggested, eliciting a melodious laugh from his throat that warmed me all over. Oh, to be with him again was so wonderful, even if I wasn't quite ready to accept him as my lover from the book. He slowly walked me back to the bed, still wobbling a bit but more steady this time. When he deposited me in the hospital bed, his handling of me was even gentler than that of Tamahome, like he was afraid I would break in his exceptionally powerful grasp. Oh, yeah...he'd said something about that before, didn't he? That I was too weak for him to hold me right now... I'm sure he's aching to do it, but I know he would never put my health in jeopardy. How honorable...

With painstakingly careful movements, Taka pulled the covers over my body, noting with worry my pallid skin and the coldness of my hands and feet. He suddenly placed his calloused hand upon my forehead and said, "I guess a fever takes the warmth from your extremities, doesn't it? I should have remembered that from class... I'm gonna keep a real close watch on you, Miaka..." What was making him so paranoid? He hadn't been like this yesterday. Did something happen to cause this strange behavior of his? It made me uncomfortable, just thinking of the possibilities. Something was wrong, terribly wrong, and I had to find out what! But my golden opportunity to ask him was ruined as Taka stared with alarm at the vital monitor, allowing himself to transform into a slightly spastic version of his usual self as he announced loudly, "I'll ask the nurses to bring you some aspirin to bring down your temperature! It's not healthy for it to be up that high...!" Before I could glance at the monitor myself, he had disappeared in search of assistance.

When I actually did take a good look at it, I nearly blew a gasket. Only 100 degrees Fahrenheit?! That's not high enough to get all worried like that! He couldn't have been thinking logically when he'd looked for himself... Or maybe he can't read or has bad eyesight...! Wait a second! How can he be in high school if he can't read?! "Oh, how could I end up with a reincarnation of Tamahome who freaking can't read?! I so don't need that...!" I cried, much to the entertainment of my mother as she walked in the room, giggling over my antics.

"Miaka-chan, you need to be resting, not getting worked up over some silly reincarnation hallucinations. Would you please do that for you mother?" she asked hopefully after her laughter had died down. What is wrong with everybody that is making them overly concerned about me? What could have possibly happened...? Before I could finish formulating this last question in my mind, my mother began to answer it. "Miaka, I have some very bad news to tell you..."

"I knew it...! What have you guys been keeping from me...?! Taka's been on pins and needles about something...and I want to know what it is!" I exclaimed, feeling my energy take its leave of me as the words escaped from my mouth. As much as I hated it, Taka was right about one thing: I was much too weak for the emotional stress that had been wrought so suddenly in my body and mind. Upon hearing my agitated voice, I heard Taka's footsteps quickening through the corridor, and, within several seconds, he was in the room, one hand tightly holding mine and his other arm wrapped loosely about my slight frame. Somehow, his touch gave me the strength I needed to withstand the sudden loss of energy, and I braced myself for whatever bombshell of information my mother had for me.

"I know that Keisuke told you not to say a word about this, Taka, but I don't feel like I can justify being dishonest with my daughter. Miaka, Keisuke is...very sick right now... He's coughing up what looks like blood, and he's having a hard time breathing again, saying that his lungs are on fire and 'hurt like hell' whenever he takes any air in... Oh, Miaka...!" my mother exclaimed, throwing herself at me in a tight, trembling embrace as Taka looked on in sheer terror at the lack of care she used while holding me. His large hand cupped my okaa-san's shoulder with the utmost tenderness, silently reminding her of my ill health and quite noticeable frailty as he soothed her with it in gentle motions back and forth. Soon, she released me and looked into my eyes again as I discovered the trepidation in her own. "Gomen ne, Miaka... I don't know what came over me... I know you're in no condition to handle something like this!"

"Okaa-san...don't worry so much...Keisuke's stronger than you think. He'll be okay..." I replied, hoping my words offered some type of consolation to my traumatized mother. She shouldn't have had to worry about both her children being in the hospital at the same time; it wasn't fair to her, and it was more of a burden than any parent should have to bear. "I think Keisuke has pneumonia...like he did when he was seven... His difficulty breathing is very...characteristic of that...and that stuff that looks like blood is probably sputum..."

It hurt so much to say those words to her; they seemed to become caught in my desert-dry throat and nearly refused to come out. Hopefully, the idea that the substance from his coughs was most likely not blood would pacify her somewhat because he wasn't bleeding internally. Unfortunately, pneumonia is just as deadly. My brother, an indispensable part of my world, could easily die of complications from a disease he'd conquered once before! The illness had done a number on his poor lungs, leaving him weak and unable to handle heavy physical activity. "Keisuke-chan...!" I whispered forcefully, clutching pale, skinny hands to my rapidly beating heart. Again, Taka carefully wrapped both of his gentle, yet astoundingly strong arms around me. His touch filled my heart with such calm, a peace that even Keisuke could not give me when I was upset, and I marveled at how easily Taka was worming his way into my broken heart. How much time would have to pass before I fell head-over-heels in love with him...?

Yui sprinted into the room, nearly toppling my mother onto me in the process, for which she apologized profusely. "You called me, Mrs. Yuuki, and I got here...as fast as I could...! I'm so sorry...about Keisuke-chan!" she said, panting to catch her breath. So Mom had called Yui-chan, ne? Maybe she would be able to help my mother deal with this, or better yet, both of us. Taka was no substitute for a best friend in this hour of dire need. Tetsuya, who must have been with her, bolted into the room only seconds after, looking around for his boyhood companion, the one who still owed him money for that age-old gambling spree on the pachinko slots.

"Tetsuya-san...ano...Keisuke's not here... He's still in intensive...care..." I told him, my voice growing weaker the more I used it. I needed rest; I'm sure my whole body testified to that fact, and Taka quickly guided my friends and family members out of the room with next to no trouble. He had no doubt sensed my exhaustion and had taken immediate action. Would Tamahome have been able to do that? No, he would have noticed the tiredness from my mannerisms, but he would never have been able to rid the room of all other occupants so efficiently. In fact, he probably wouldn't have succeeded in emptying the room at all. Tamahome had always been socially awkward. "Keisuke-chan...ooohhh... He really needs them there...with him...doesn't he?" I asked him, pausing in the middle in a moan as I became dizzy and hoping my quiet voice reached his ears.

Taka's eyes never left the door as he answered me in a melancholy tone, saying, "Yes...but it would have been nice if they hadn't just run in here like bulls in a china shop. They should have thought about your well-being, as well as your brother's. I'm not saying that he is any less important than you, but you need adequate rest to get well, especially considering the stress you've been under lately..." He soon trailed off, unable to say anymore as he trudged his way to a chair, nearly collapsing into it as he sat down quietly, utterly exhausted after the last thirty-six hours that had commenced. In only one day, I had met the reincarnation of Tamahome, and both my brother and I had lost consciousness and were trying to recuperate in Keisuke's university's hospital. What an interesting day and a half we'd had! Taka seemed to be dealing with it pretty well, except that his eyes had dark, puffy circles under them, not to mention the loss of hue in his usually tanned-looking skin. He blinked the sleep away from his tired eyes incessantly, and his disheveled appearance testified that this ordeal hadn't been easy for him, either.

Seemingly having read my mind, he said, "Don't worry so much, Miaka-chan. I'll get some rest as you sleep, alright? I have no intention of being hospitalized myself. What good would I be to you in one of these old beds, trying to get well?" After he finished, he chuckled at his half-joke, almost putting me at ease, but he was unable to convince me that sleeping by my bedside was healthy. He looked bad, like he'd been through an emotional hell, which I knew to be true in and of itself. The worry I had for Keisuke was so much worse than being stuck in this hospital room, unable to even stand without Taka's assistance. How much worse was it for him, having to see me like this, knowing that he loved me as his eternal soul mate and not a sister?

"Go home, Tamahome... You need to sleep in your...own bed...and in your own room...! It isn't good...for you to be cooped up here... Get some sleep...freshen up a little...and come back here when...you feel better... Like you said...you're no good exhausted...like this..." I admonished him, failing to notice the incensed glare that he sent me until I finished my little spiel, making me wonder what on earth had angered him to the point that his usually kind eyes were hurling daggers at my face. Tamahome had been so unpredictable sometimes, and it seemed at the moment that the trait had been bestowed upon Taka as well.

Without warning, his powerful form was hovering over mine, and he didn't take his eyes off me as he demanded, "How long has it been since you last ate?" His voice was eerily subdued, as if he were keeping the tides of rage at bay, and his gaze was deep and probing, boring into the depths of my soul. "I don't understand your logic, Miaka. I mean, you haven't eaten a thing since we first met, and God only knows how long you've gone without anything in your stomach before that...! What gives you the right to tell me anything about taking care of myself when things get bad? Did you forget that Keisuke told me everything about how you got hospitalized before? That he told me about your not eating or sleeping properly after losing Tamahome?! God, Miaka! Do you have any idea how worried I am about you?! I hate to tell you, but your condition isn't much better than your brother's, and you could die just as easily as he!"

When I averted my gaze from his, he seized my shoulders, shaking them vigorously, and demanded, "Are you listening to anything I'm saying?! Miaka, I'm just concerned for your health, and you've got to hear me out! Do you understand me?!" What had gotten into him?! He was normally so gentle and understanding... I would never have expected him to...hurt me... But here he was, shaking me so hard that I felt my brain sloshing around my cranium and his hands gripping me with such force that my arms were already beginning to bruise. This rage he possessed...was being directed towards me...and that frightened me. Would Taka lose his temper again, resorting to more drastic measures next time? I couldn't chance it...could I? Plus, Keisuke would kill him if he found out about this. Maybe I'd be protecting him by letting him go. But it was so hard...as if my heart were already being torn in two...

"Don't touch me...!" I yelled in the most formidable tone I could muster, my voice sounding hoarser and more strained than I intended. He only looked at me, not budging an inch, surprise more than evident in his expression and appearing to be in a stupor. The sound of a palm connecting with someone's cheek rang throughout the tiny room, and there sat my suitor, rubbing his face where a slight redness was gathering in the shape of my tiny, white hand that had been there only a fraction of a second before. "You have no...right...to talk, Taka!!! You don't know...what I've been through...nor will you EVER know now! Get out of here...!" He stared at me in complete and utter shock, still holding his hand over the angry mark now adorning his face. Didn't he know when to take the hint?! "GET OUT!!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs, which was the volume of normal speech for any healthy person.

Suddenly, those warm, comforting arms seized my rail-thin body again, and his hands stroked both my hair and my back as he cringed at the numerous bones jutting into him. There was no way to get out of his grasp; the strength of his embrace, although extremely controlled and gentle, was more than I could even hope to resist in my condition. "Please...don't push me away, Miaka..." he whispered almost inaudibly, making me strain to hear him. His voice held the hopelessness of a heart that had been shattered beyond recognition, and its hollow quality was an echo of the emptiness his body now possessed without a soul to dwell within its confines. "I'm so sorry... I just...want you to get well so badly...and all this worrying is...driving me insane... What could I ever do to convince you to let me stay...? I don't deserve you...at all... I'm nowhere near worthy..."

"You're right, Taka... You don't..." I answered, feeling the pain well up inside of me as I rejected him so coldly. I never thought anything could be so hard... But as his lanky figure retreated from the room, I realized that not only had he taken his body, his spirit, and his memories; he had even taken my own soul with him, leaving me an empty carcass of regret and sorrow.


End file.
